The show must go on!!!

Kabir could have slapped himself twice for sending that message.

PS: I love you? What did that even mean?? He sounded like some school girl..or a teenager excited about his first conquest.

Maybe he should send another message saying he sent the wrong message.

Yaqub interrupted his trail of thoughts as he entered the living room shouting on the top of his voice.

“we got the case” he said. Smiling from ear to ear. In his excitement he jumped to sit beside Kabir on the smaller cream settee.

It took Kabir almost a minute as he tried to rearrange his thoughts. He answered his friend nonetheless,not wanting to look stupid.

They discussed the case all night as most lawyers did. The two lawyers went on to continue research on the case online, gathering as much information as they could about the opposing counsel and the case itself. It was such a big catch for the fresh minds,especially seeing as Jibrin & co had just taken off barely a year ago. They shared the same zeal for justice. Reason why they had clicked right from their library days back in the university of greenwich.

Yaqub Jibrin was the only son of Justice Sani Jibrin. The first attorney-general of the federation from Katsina. The name Justice Jibrin was synonymous with excellence and perfection. Anything he did and all he had achieved all these years had been built on justice, equity and fairness. It was a tough call for Yaqub all his life. As most people used his father’s success as a yardstick for his own achievements. They viewed all he did as right or wrong. There was no grey area. He only found solace with his mum most times. As she corrected his mistakes with the understanding only a mother could. He had been such a rogue at first, not wanting to study hard and always partying around. He even repeated his class in year one, which had been the main reason why his uncle had presuaded his dad to bundle him abroad.

“let him come here and stay with me. I will teach him some manners. And please yaya, don’t come visiting or send him any money until he has graduated”  His uncle,Bako had told his dad five years earlier.

But even uncle Bako was amazed at the level of commitment and dedication Yaqub had shown once he thought his family had abandoned him. His mum’s resolve to shut him out until he made her proud especially, had got him thinking real hard for days after sulking and dragging his feet about for days on end. His turn around and transformation had become an example for other boys that were family friends with the Jibrins’.

It was his dad’s idea that he start up the private legal firm. Seeing as he had come back with a broad spectrum of ideas and plans. Justice Jibrin thought it wise to shield his son from the inevitable conflict between politics and justice. 

Yaqub had however faced the issue head on. His first case had been with a councilor from Daura. He won the case fair and square regardless of the threat to his life once the hearing had begun.

This new case was similar. Only this time,they were going into the big leagues. They were going to be facing the dreaded Tom Dike (SAN). He was known as a ruthless lawyer and a bitter loser. He fought hard and dirty. Which suited him well as most of his clients were politicians who were willing to pay any price to win. He didn’t take any chances, and crushed anyone that stood between him and the results he wanted. Yaqub had his father’s years of experience and strategies to guide him, without that, he was no match for Tom Dike. Even with the enormous bounty of wisdom they were expecting to tap from, Kabir was still having seconds thoughts about taking on Tom Dike. He had suggested they seek the counsel of an older colleague. There seem to be enough candidates for the slot. Tom Dike had more foes than friends afterall. But, Yaqub will not see reason. He wanted this victory to be his to savor and a big plus for his new law firm. It was something the two friends had argued over for days before they finally agreed to start wooing their client. It was such a keenly contested race, and so many others had even taken to sending personal gifts and granting favors to get the job. Yaqub had used his father’s old method of being available to the client, but assertive and professional when need be. It was the combination that got him the case at the end of the day.

It was almost some minutes to 3am when Yaqub finally began to doze off . Kabir tapped his shoulders with his tired fingers from his squating position. They had moved to the library and were all covered in multitude of paper and case study. Yaqub yawned in answer and shifted his gaze to take in Kabir.

“You should go home,mallam” Kabir said, suppressing gales of laughter. He was exhausted himself,but he could bet that he wasn’t looking as bad as Yaqub.

“ko? Anya zan iya zuwa gida a haka?” Yaqub reasoned inspite of himself. Kabir assesed him and had to agree. He will end up by the roadside or far worse if he left like that.

He threw his weight sluggishly on the tiled floor and began to snore solfty before Kabir could even reply him. He was like a dead log when he was asleep. Kabir often wondered how he will cope if there was an emergence or a call for help late at night. He had once slept off in the middle of a conversation with his girlfriend,Zainab. His old friends still teased him about it,but they had all come to agree that Yaqub functioned better during the day. Even the fear of exams didn’t keep him from meeting up his appointment with Mr. sleep.

Kabir put down the ball pen in his hand and picked up his iphone from atop the stack of files he had already gone through. He scanned through his unread messages using his left index finger to navigate the device. He was expecting a reply at least. It was so unlike Naima not to have replied him by now. He went back to view his outgoing folder. The message had been delivered alright. So, why didn’t she reply? He wondered if she was still mad at him, or if she didn’t even feel same. He feared the latter as he realized that they had never talked indepth or even defined their attraction to one another.

With a sigh, he put down the phone from where he picked it and yanked the file off his lap. He stretched his sore frame and yawned loudly. Then joined his friend on the floor using the stack of files as pillow.

Naima shifted in her sleep. She was in her “C” sleeping position as always. With her knee close to her chin. Her alarm went off minutes earlier, but she was far away in dreamland to even think of waking up. Her phone began to buzz again. This time louder, as if the urgence of the call was being transmitted via the device. She moved again,this time with a murmur and her eyes drooping. It took her some seconds to figure out what the sound was and the line was about to go off when she finally hit the green button and took the call.

“Hello” she muffled into the speaker.

“yan’mata kenan”

That was all he said, but it was enough for her to sit up excitedly as the sleep flew away from her eyes and lit up like a christmas tree…

                ...to be continued.

PS: I love you!!!

Jay sean's "down" was playing in the background,the DJ was stationed at the far end of the dark corner they were standing. they stood hip-to-hip,his breathe was whistling through his nostrils,hers was heavy,almost like she was panting. It felt like the song was dedicated to this moment. As Kabir tightened his grip on her waist,and folded her closer to his chest, not wanting to let go. She obliged Jay's plea to "leave it behind tonight",as she snuggled closer,laying her head on the left corner of his chest,his heartbeat echoing in her ears and she shut her eyelids to savor the warmth exuding from him. His cologne teased her senses. His chiseled features felt good to her touch. She felt his heart pick-up the rhythm. Relaxing to the music, Kabir began to caress her nape with his thumb gently,then he switched to using his palm,circling the same area. The soft sigh that escaped her lips was just the signal he needed to ginger him.He kissed her cheekbone slowly,she raised her head to his searching eyes,huge clouds of desire made his eyes dark,she could almost read his thoughts.she tried a smile,it was chuckle that came instead. This moment was more magic than she had ever imagined.

It was like a dream. one she had waited for for so so long.


That thought brought back the ice and rage she had kept within her. She just couldnt hold it back anymore. He felt her stiffen. He knew it already. This was it. The drama was about to start,but somehow he just was not ready for it. He will have to explain his big ego and cunning ways. His indecision will come to bear,and she might slip away from him completely. He drew her closer,whispering in her ears, "dont!"

A single word. but they both knew what he was saying. She broke free and looked him straight in his eyes. matching his gaze for the first time-ever.
"I can't" she flung the words at him.

**********************************************************************************

Bahijja was beginning to feel like she was being charged with murder. The ride back to Naima's was complete torture. dead silence. No words spoken. Just a series of sighs.
"wai wani irin abu ne haka,yaya?" Bahijja spat, breaking the ice.

She looked from one person to the other.

“you both have feelings for each other. If not, why will you keep acting like this around one another? This isnt right. One of you must forget and let go of this ridiculous ego. And I expect its going to be you” Bahijja charged at her brother.

He looked more startled at her outburst than her accusation.

“what do you know about this really?” his deep baritone supplied . He was trying to be the sensible of the lot, but it seemed impossible. These ladies were letting their emotions get the better of them and he wasn’t ready to be accused of being the only one that didn’t let this see the light of day.

“oh! I know enough. I live with you, remember?” Bahijja said.

He looked over at Naima. She remained silent. Looking over the view as he drove past unity fountain. He felt her frustration, but he could only care less. Didn’t she always accuse him of not wanting to talk? Well, he was more than ready for it now, and he didn’t care if his baby sister was there or not, this madness had to stop!

“I suppose your happy with this” his acidic tone stung her. She shifted her gaze towards his direction, but her heart wont have any of it. She looked over at the back of the silver camry at Bahijja instead, and gave her a weak smile, “thanks for chipping in a word for me” she supplied, her words were barely a whisper over the air-conditioner’s hissing sounds.

Bahijja moved closer and reached out. She grasped her shaky hands in her firm ones and said clearly, “You gotta end this tonight. Its obvious your hurting, dear. He is my brother, but no man is worth all this patience” she said, eyeing her brother from her position with her left eye.

Naima opened her mouth to talk, but words failed her again. She caught Kabir’s expectant expression as she searched Bahijja’s face. She saw pity and encouragement. She gave her a bear hug instead, “I will survive this, sis” she replied.

“Oh for heaven’s sake” Kabir cursed, looking up as the words flew out of his mouth.

“do you really expect me to believe that your so hurt your lost for words?” he accused her again. “ I know your just not saying anything because you never had anything to say. You keep accusing me of being selfish and unavailable, when infact, you’re the one always keeping me the red light. Acting like you can replace me with anyone.” He continued with arrogance.

“which you have, by the way” he added matter-of-factly.

“I don’t expect you to understand. I realize now sadly. If you think even in the least, that this is easy for me then you are such a joker. I don’t even know why I care so much. But, this is the last you will hear of it” her voice was calm, but he got the message alright. His accusation of her replacing him with someone else had brought back the painful memories of peaches, and how he had cheated on her right under her very nose. It was a mistake she was determined never to repeat. If this was all Kabir thought of her, then she might as well not explain her situation to him. What difference will it make anyway.

They were just at the turn before Naima’s house by then. She thanked Bahijja once more for speaking up for her, and asked politely to be dropped off. She needed to walk back to get some air she had said.

As he drove off with Bahijja now seated  at the passenger’s side, he was tempted to stay back and talk more. But, his ego got the better of him as always and he said a proud goodbye and looked away as they zoomed off into the night.

Naima didn’t even try to deny the pain or act strong. This time she let the sorrow consume her. She cried her eyes dry. Even when the tears stopped, she wished for them to flow. She felt like a cross had been placed on her shoulders. She just didn’t get it. Whatever it was that was making Kabir act like this was certainly and painfully making her feelings even harder to hold back she realized.

Her mum kept asking what the problem was as she noticed that Naima kept running off to the bathroom and coming back with her eyes red and puffy. When she couldn’t hide behind her cold getting worse, she excused herself from the living room, feigning pain and claiming her head hurt from the party’s loud music.

She resigned to the dark silence she had created in her room and lay on the edge of her bed like a lifeless lioness. This lioness was truly wounded. Not only was her pride hurt, she feared her heart might never recover. But she had to be brave, this was going to be the last straw. She will mourn him in silent courage and then let him go. She was tired of Kabir playing hot and cold with her. This was deadly, she was gambling with her heart and it seemed it was going to end in disaster.

“how do you even let go of something that was never yours”  naughty Naima asked.

“I know right? Beats me too” sweet Naima replied.

They were for once in agreement. Her whole system seem to have gotten used to the idea of having Kabir acting out this way, and never really sticking around to explain it. If she didn’t know better, Naima might think this was all there was to love. Mere torture and nothing more. Or was it?

She stood up from the bed and picked up her laptop half-distracted. She began to write a poem full of spite for the love she wished for,but kept eluding her. Just then her phone beeped. She picked it up, hoping it wasnt Fatty since she had promised to call and didn’t.

It was Kabir. She looked at the short message again. It was clear. It wasn’t too much grammar or even words that will make one wonder. But she was confused, and all of a sudden she felt a rage consume her as she hissed at the words she thought will one day make her smile.

PS: I love you….

That was all he wrote. She tossed the phone so hard it landed on the ground.

“Dude!! Seriously???” she barked and the walls seemed to echo the anger in the words as she shook uncontrollably from head to toe…

 ...to be continued.

Guest writer: Poems by Sani Isah!

 Hello people!
today,I begin the new guest writer section with poems that have blown me away. all four poems are really inspiring...Enjoy:

TIME
All im waiting for is time
And ill get all that is mine
Players, haters shall all die
Wanting to see me left behind
I face all the tumbles of life
With a bitter sick smile
Im a go-getter in disguise
Often told im one of a kind
“Never give up” that’s the watch word
Ambitions bigger than the world
Dreams of being the last don
Like taking the throne of the corleone
I want to be all I can be
In this world full of greed
Cant change whats written for me
By God in my destiny.



I REMAIN MEI remain me
Copying no one else
That’s why I stay blessed
Never get depressed
My haters are always impressed
Im like mount everest
Wearing my nike crest
Knowing im the best
Don’t worry about my address
Check my email on the net
Plus im a fll time ghetto vet
And all my dough I invest
Never forgetting about my vest
Words I spit I never regret
Someone you can never forget
In rap game I never degrade
Hate seeing others in stress
Amusing you is my interest
Always need my lords bless
Play life like a game of chess



DONT LIVE IN ILLUSIONDon’t live in illusion
In this world of confusion
Try and give a contribution
To knowledge acquisition
Im not trying to confuse intellects
Or leaving them in regrets
If you smoke dodge a cigarette
And know that you are blessed
It is said knowledge is king
But all people care for is bling bling
Get your mind in the right moodswing
And this message will be like a bee sting.



LIFELife
Only the wise survive
Leaving ignorant ones behind
It’s a short time so always smile

We all know there is a life after this
Which is full of luxury and bliss
Its an opportunity we should not miss
Or else you will be left to hiss
Try to enjoy life to the fullest
But always try to have a recess
And aim at achieving success
And never stay depressed
These are words from a wise mind
And all the lines you should memorize

Oh Hawt!!!

Naima retraced her steps back to her queen sized mahogany bed. Her bare feet sinking into the brown italian carpet as she walked. She perched herself on the rightside corner of the bed,and folded her legs so that her chin was resting on her knees,she pulled her nighty down a bit to cover her calf,as the blowing wind from the window was getting stronger. She closed her eyes and laid her head back on the bed’s frame,all in a bid to pause her mind as it seem to be on a roller coaster of its own.

Just then her youngest brother burst open the white door,and threw in his whole bulk into the room before she could say anything. He smiled at her,with his full eyebrows raising at her posture and facial expression. Being about eleven years younger than she was,Abdulwahid looked at her like some older sister that had all the answers. He asked her a lot of questions,some even weird ones,and his topics will range from science,literature,religion and even arts. Naima loved his adventurous side,she saw it as something they had in common which wasn’t a normal thing in the Ibrahim’s lineage. Hence,she made sure she listened to him and explained as much as she could to satisfy his young mind. Her mum called him her PA,they were a lot closer than she was with her other two sibilings,even though she did talk a lot with Fahd,who was her immediate younger one,their ideologies right from kidergarten were not same. With Abdulwaihd however,she got to pass across the passion of finding answers for yourself. She called him with the pet name,gotel,the fulani word for “one” which was the literal meaning of the second bit of his arabic name.

That windy morning was no different. Like his usual self,he was the first to wake up in the boys’ room,and after taking his bath,and switching to his khaki shorts and white denim top from his boxers,which he slept in.he headed down to check up on her and cross examine her with his many answers. If the lights were not out,he will normally just tiptoe into the room and tune to cartoon network,and she would wake up to his laughing self sprawled on the carpet right infront of the large flatscreen sony television.

“yaya?” Naima spoke first.

“babu,na zo in gaishe ki ne” He went defensive.

“toh,nagode…amma barci nake ji” Naima said,not wanting to be disturbed.

“ok,sorry…zan dawo anjuma? He played innocent again,as he moved away from the bed,and explained in a heartbeat that he was off to see his friend two houses away from theirs. All Nai could do was nod. These thoughts had taken all of her energy,and she had just started to go deeper ,in her mind.

Her phone shrieked just then,blasting the “OMG” by Usher  ringtone,causing an echo in the mortuary quiet room. She guessed it might be Peaches,as he had been calling all morning. What did he really want? After all the havoc he had caused in her life,she had forgiven him so much so that she was even receiving his calls and replying his messages once-in-a-while. However,she noticed that had only encouraged him,making him think he still had a chance.Nai knew that chapter of her life was done with,she didn’t deny that she loved him once,even when things were bad,she never said or even thot that she regretted ever knowing him,but for all she cared,she didn’t wanna re-live those memories again. Life had so much more to offer,and she wouldn’t limit herself to a myopic angle of it.

Everyone seemed to be smiling. Dressed in radiant colors,exhanging pleasantries,hugging,and making introductions. the ladies were as usual in the center of it all,with some clinging towards the new Rihanna padded sleeves style,and others going for the casual look adorning themselves in black-and-white. There were also those misfits,like in every event,that looked like they didn’t know they were coming for an in-house event and not a wedding or carnival. Naima belonged to the casual crowd. With her grey polka dots knee-length top,and black leggings she didn’t really turn heads,but blended well with the crowd. She had opted for a thin grey hair band to hold her hair,and wore long sliver earrings,which shone in the dim lights of the Mu’azzams’ garden. She smiled at Bahijja as she made her way to where Naima was standing. The two girls exchanged pleasantries,as each tried to explain the long hush,and one-way communication between the once inseperable ladies.

“gaskiya,this isnt right,so if not for yaya kabir’s graduation party,we still wont meet?” Bahijja said,in between gulps of red wine. She was a lovely girl to be around. The one problem Naima had come to have with her was her believe that everything in life revolved around wealth and power. They were always arguing about that,and as such,the way they acted and responded to life had been different. Naima understood her angle sometimes,because Bahijja had known wealth all her life,her dad had been on the corridors of power since she was born. He was one of the few people that owned lands and houses in Abuja. He was the permanent secretary in the ministry of agriculture,and that was his fourth ministry,he had worked with the immediate past minister of industries as his personal assistant. That had shot him more to limelight. Bahijja’s point was inconsistent with life’s real challenges,as she had been sheilded from the real world all her life,it made her conversation shallow and bombastic sometimes,especially since she was such a shop-a-holic and label freak. One time,they had a fight with Nai,because she bought a jean for seven thousand naira.

Tonight was no different. She was clad in a smoky red Vera Wang summer mini dress,and leopard skin Jimmy Choo pomps. Her signature chanel perfume intoxicated the air around her,and her short curls were soaked in spotting waves that one could use it as a mirror in the dark night. As she spoke,and gestured with her hands,the sounds from her six-piece bangles became even more annoying.

Nai smiled,she has not changed one bit, she thot to herself. Bahijja was saying something about taking a picture with the celebrant before it got even more rowdy,and Nai quickly nodded. She would want that because the minute all those naughty rich boys got even more drunk,there was bound to be a scene. It had become part and parcel of the Mu’azzams’ house party. Beer,champagne and all sorts of assorted wine was in abundance. The smoking level was on red as almost all the guys there smoked cigars or shisha. They made so much noise and small talk,chasing whoever was the life of the party,before they headed onto the centre of the garden where the deejay was stationed,and danced the night away. 

Her parents had insisted that Naima go and congratulate Kabir over his results. It was more or less a first in their larger extended family,as no1 had ever gone aboard to study and came home with a distinction. Everyone was proud of Kabir. Some relatives had even sent their daughters over to the party with a mission to get Kabir’s attention,and work on making him their future husband. Naima was fully aware of that,and it was why she didn’t wanna go at first,especially since virtually everyone knew of the electrifying chemistry she shared with him. As she turned into the kitchen to drop her wine glass,Bahijja almost tripped,and Naima reached out an arm to keep her still.

“ke! Karki fadi a nan fa” Naima lamented,worried that Bahijja still couldn’t stay away from alcohol as they grew older.

“don’t worry,I will be fine,lemme just freshen up,I will meet up with you” she quickly replied.

Naima was left to stand all alone in the corner,as she waited for Bahijja’a return. Kabir noticed her minutes earlier,but refused to go over,and talk to her. Even though the girls around  him seem to be engaged in a heated argument over who was hotter between Brad Pitt and Robert patterson,he wanted her to see him being wooed by other girls. Maybe she would feel a little bit of jealousy,and that would make her acknowledge the blinding spark between them. As if on cue,she turned her head towards his direction,and their eyes locked. It was the first time she was seeing him that evening,and the mere sight of him just took her breath away. He looked a lot more handsome than the last time she saw him,and his body fit chocolate-coloured top made him look so hot,he almost looked like Isiah Washington.

She peeled her eyes off him as he began to smile at her,and she could swear she felt him inches close to her,instead of feets away,as it really was. Where was Bahijja? She wasn’t doing this,she had to leave. She picked up her glass from the long leather table,and turned to disappear into the serenity of the kitchen,instead she felt a strong hand around her waist folding her into a warm embrace…

                            ... to be continued.

Crossroads...

It was a Wednesday morning,and the August rain was in full gear. She closed her eyes again,and made a conscious effort to stop thinking,but her thoughts were all over the place.

She opened her eyes,and flipped herself off the rumbled bed,walked towards the window in slow measured steps,and peered outside. Her green and sunny surroundings were made grey by the dark cloud and looming sandstorm..if anything though,her dad wouldn’t hammer on the importance of water to trees today,because his lovely garden will have more than enough,thanks to the rain. It was something her dad guarded with pride. He did all the weeding and manual work himself,saying it was a form of exercise and recreation for him. He even bought small seedlings from the gardeners in town,ranging form yellow bush to mango trees,just anything green. He always emphasized on how the trees helped with the oxygen supply in the house,but for Nai and her brothers,it was the hardwork they were forced to adapt to that wasn’t a jolly ride,even though they enjoyed spending their evenings chatting in the garden on the white plastic chairs and taking pictures.

she watched as people scamped to get to their destination before the light drizzle turned to heavy outburst. The now dusty window glass reflected her image,she was wearing one of her favourite nighties,it was all tiny purple flowers on a white cotton material. Her hair was still in the pink hairband,thanks to the silk scarf she had tied the night before. Her eyes were all puffy from the tussle she had all night with her bed,her lips were dry,and her lower pink lips looked like it was cracking owing to her biting on it all night while she ramsacked through her many predicaments. She tried a smile to cheer herself up..it just didn’t work. She continued to try funny faces and even laugh at her confusion,but her emotions were definitely not having it.

Just then,she noticed their next-door neighbour racing to her blue rav4. “What was this one upto?”  she thought to herself. Their neighbours were a colourful bunch as far as Nai was concerned. They bought cars like it was tissue paper. They left the generator to run from the previous night upto the wee hours of the morning,and to top it all,they were night crawlers. Staying up late gisting right on their front lawn while the whole neighbourhood went to sleep. Nai’s mum was particularly appalled by it. she would say it was being irresponsilbe. But Nai was certain it was just the suburb life,not all those that lived there conformed to the quiet lifestyle her neighbourhood was used to. Infact,she was pleased by the Tanko family’s lively schedule,because she always had this fear that one could be murdered in broad daylight in that neighbourhood and noone will notice,or even act on time.

Who am I?

It was the one question that just kept popping up in her mind. It was like a race,a sudden battle or a revelation she badly needed to explore. Why did life give you so many options and yet there were little or no variations in the outcome. You were either happy or not,in not being happy,you were either miserable,sad,indifferent or depressed. These were low levels of unhappiness. Naima was sure she had experienced them all at some point in her life. But in the past few months,she was more or less testing her wings. She was on a journey to discover her limits and re-discover her potential. What were her boundaries,and what was her confort zone…she desperately needed to find out. She looked at this time in her life as the bridge. The major link that could make or marr all she had done so far.

One burden she had carried virtually all her life,was the crave to be understood. That telepathy she read in books,that talked about someone else finishing your sentences and knowing what your thoughts were exactly,even before you said a word…or was it just wishful thinking? She wondered to herself. How hard can it be really? She had accepted the crown as the queen of weirdos a long time ago,hoping and fervently praying that the king will find her soon. Maybe he just didn’t exist, maybe she really did have high standards as some other guys have claimed over the years. She looked at it as a fundermental,a basic,for all she cared,if a guy kept viewing her angles under the whole she-is-a-woman prism,then they were bound to stay glued to one spot,and that was her main beef. She just couldn’t seem to accept failure easily,she kept trying and trying even after most normal people had already given up on something. It was only a long time after a battle had been fought and lost,that she came around to accept defeat,even then,she attached sentiments,logic and excuses to it.

What was really expected of her now?

Now that she had finally finished her undergrad,no thanks to the six months ASUU strike that made her celebrate her 22^nd and 23^rd birthday in the same class. So much time had gone by,and even though her eyes were still on the price-which was to be thinking of settling down by the time she was 25yrs old-she did have her doubts. She had it all mapped out at first,secondary school grad at 17,undergrad at 21,Msc at 22,a job she loved by 23, and finally a home to call hers by 25…now that she had achieved only the second goal by the age of the fourth goal,she was terrified at the outcome of things. Her life was somewhat stagnant while time was in fastforward. How was she gonna handle it? She had fixed the 25yrs to the settling down goal because she considered it reasonable. Seeing as people around her even turned 35 and 40 without a home to call theirs,she could see herself in their shoes. The northern girl out to make a career out of her four-to-five academic years,and guys looking at her like a challenge and thereby avoiding her like a plaque. It was just so disheartening. Her whole clan back in the village were looking forward to her wedding day,some of her older step-aunties talked about it like it was going to be a festival,they raved at the idea of her grandma’s first female grandchild getting married and settling down. If not for her dad’s adamant and consistent defense of her stand to be educated first,those women would have had her marry a cousin or someone else years ago. The pressure seem to be become even more unbearable as her other cousins that lived with them in the village gladly swaped school for a husband. Most of them now had kids and that was the fuel that kept burning the get-married-now campaign they were pressing forward.

But all of that was little pressure compared to the immense pressure Naima put on herself. She just had to succeed,no matter what. It wasn’t going to be easy,but she had a strong conviction that she was born a winner. One whom had it all,but would have to work for it to get it. She will get there,she will have success,her dreams,goals and aspirations will all be conquered if she remained patient and stirred the all ready troubled waters of faith with a lot of planning and determination. Most paramount in her mind was getting someone to understand that passion,someone that will see her as a patner,and allow her ample time to chase her dreams without putting on the mister-fix-it cap every now and then.Family meant the world to her,but she was always advocating one chase his/her dreams even when  balancing both sides were a woman’s lot in the african society. She did pride herself as a rare breed in womanhood. The kind that didn’t enjoy falling,but accepted it as part of the journey. Her sojourn in life had to be meaningful,it just had to make sense,her resolve couldn’t be shaken….that was something she needed to communicate to whom ever it was she might end up with. The main thrust of the relationship and marriage had to be friendship and mutual respect,if not,her idea of building a home her kids will cherish all their life was bound to fail terribly….the obvious question however remained,where was this knight in shining armor that she kept planning for???

                    ... to be continued.

Going home!!!

Hello people,finally we are back in business. however,from here onward,I will be switching back to fiction. this is therefore,the last installment as per my life as at 2009...thanks for being there.
Enjoy :)
  ********************************************************************************

Naima herself just didnt understand it. but,she always had this feeling that her life was a scene on the truman show. she felt it was being recorded as a movie somewhere,and will soon hit stores,who knows,maybe it could even end up being number one in the box office.
She smiled at the doorman as he rushed to help her with the wet suitcases. it had been raining non-stop for almost three hours,and she didnt have the luxury of waiting somewhere for it to stop because she had to get to the Marriot hotel in time before her mum was thrown out of the room they had just checked into. Her mum being in the room without payment in the first instance was courtesy of the friendly indie porter who recognized her mum as a card holder in the hotel. the new receptionist seeing that her mum was just discharged from the hospital,and visibly weak had pity in her eyes as she took a risk to help check them in while Nai rushed back to Aunty Mimi's house to get her mum's master card.

The ride to Aunty Mimi's took about 90minutes of the two hours they had given her,and so,Naima'a mind was in so much turmoil that she just didnt notice that the rain was increasing,and she was dripping from head to toe. It didnt even matter that Aunty Mimi tried to make her dinner. she just couldnt wait that long. she just rushed around as she put all her things into her mum's suitcases and packed them all together. she had two big boxes and a small trolley bag with her. Mrs Duke,had just brought in the kids from a friend's birthday party,and offered to drop Naima off at the tube station. it was the most she could do for someone she had only met twice,even though she seemed like a nice woman,Aunty Mimi said she wasnt really one to go out of her way to help others.
Having been a resident for years in the UK had really turned her into the ideal oyinbo that hardly did much for others. Everyone seem to be too busy with their own lives that they thot of others as a burden. it was among the many reasons why Naima kicked against living off the shores of Africa for so long without contact back home. she thot it made you mean and selfish. And the whole idea of just donating money without really caring where it went or how it was used just didnt cut it. it wasnt enough excuse for all she cared.

***********************************************************************************
 It was 00:07am and her phone woke her up. the text from her dad reminded her that it was indeed her birthday. Nai had turned twenty-two on a day she was gonna be going through customs and settling their hotel bills. it was no fun day at all,and if not for her dad's reminder,she may never have even noticed. as if on cue,more messages from friends started bombarding her phone non-stop that she had to silence the beep,so it dont wake her mum up.
She went on to finish packing and putting everything else in order after being robbed of sleep by the calls and messages. in a way,it did lift her spirits a little,but her mind kept wandering back to the showdown they would have to face once back home. considering what her dad had been telling her,tensions were mounting back home and she was sure her mum's return was going to make it all explode. It was a bomb waiting to explode and her mum was definately was the trigger. With her mum up,it was a new mini war on whether or not taking a bath was necessary for a 6hour flight. even though she was better,getting Nai's mum to do anything was like getting lady gaga to become a nun. it was tough work,if you did ever get to succeed at convincing her.
With all four suitcases packed and weighed,her mum clad in her fav red ensemble and their reservation confirmed,all Naima had to do was find a place to trade the dollars she had for pounds for the ticket payment. only two days earlier,she had gone to make enquiries about any discounts her mum could get being a card holder and all,but the minute she mentioned that her mum was just recently discharged from the hospital,what she got was a number to call before her mum was given approval to fly instead. she was so pissed and that was when she realized that the naija sense sure didnt work everywhere,and thats why it was called that.

She smiled through her thoughts as the guy at the bureau de change wished her a happy birthday while making a copy of her passport page. she counted the money just to be sure,and then moved over to jump the queue explaining at every stop that she was just going to pay for her reservation,but that still didnt stop some resistant passengers from giving her a hard long look before reluctantly letting her leave them behind.
Having her mum excited about going home and making calls in between big bites of cookies was like the best birthday gift ever,as it gave Naima more time to relax and window-shop round the airport duty-free shops to buy the last of her brother's long list of demands. it was a habit she had nurtured traveling with her mum,she said,it was way easier than paying for excess.

************************************************************************************

The plane landed just few minutes after four a.m..Naima woke her mum up,but with the way she responded,she sure didnt get as much sleep,even after the whole episode where she thought the plane was about to crash. it was something Nai would have to explain to her dad immediately they got home,just so he knows how exactly to handle her because Naima was planning on getting about seven hours sleep before she got back to caring for her mum again. She still had that memory mess once-in-a-while,and it made it hard to calm her mum down once she was sure someone was attacking her. it was just as well,they were back home...she finally got a sight of her brother and waved at him,so he could spot her,and she could see his eyes fill with tears as he caught sight of their mum. it seemed to be everyone's first reaction and her never-emotional brother was no exception...
                    ...to be continued.

things are looking up...

the usual MTN ring went on in her ear. *dun dun* it went on for three consective rings before it was recieved on the other end.

"Hello,yar uwa ya kike?" Fairy went on to say. Naima responded in the affirmative. she was glad she had time to make the call to the rest of the squad,that rather hot summer afternoon. she was on the verge of losing her sanity after hearing about what was actually wrong with her mum,and knowing that there was no cure yet known to man that will help her.

 "me duniya? kun share ni kawai" Nai complained about them not calling her for sometime now. then Fairy apologized reminding her that she had only called once saying the number wasnt hers and that she will call them with hers,which she never got around to doing.
the two girls chatted for a long time,talking about how the strike  didnt seem like it was going to end soon,her mum's health,Fairy's fiance,and everything they missed out on telling each other.

After the call with Fairy,Nai went on to call Fatty. she was more upset with her for not calling but after Fairy reminded her that the mistake was hers,she has decided to call her bestie among the two.
they spoke at length too,and Fatty as always said the most reassuring words to get Nai laughing once again. Fatty was getting more worried about the delay in the strike,and how the Edo state governor had been called in by the president to address the issue,and she said as much to Nai.
Nai said she was just grateful that she had time to be with her mum,without thinking of how much she was missing in school.

"gaskiya kam" Fatty agreed.

***********************************************************************************

As much as she was hiding from it. Nai knew she was loving the attention Kabir was showing her. he called aften to "check on her",and even offered to take her out a couple of times. but she had made up her mind that it wasnt going to work between them. she wasnt one that liked the idea of being with someone close to home,even though it was a normal thing in her place,she still maintained that it made the large family butt into the couple's affairs and she was never known to be a fan of that.

Aunty Mimi and the kids were making her feel so loved,and at home too. one time,she got back from the hospital so tired and drained,and the girls jumped all over her the minute she walked in. that was a high point in her rather dragged day,and it made her feel cared for.

her mum was also getting so much better,going on walks with her around the hospital courtyard,and even asking for food. her mum's appetite seemed to be on a high,and Nai couldnt be any happier. they got to talk more with her mum about certain incidents in the past,and how things kept getting worse between her mum and her aunt before this big showdown. on some days,Naima felt like her loyalty of course lay with her mum,but when she told her about other stories,and her weak defense for some of her actions,Nai got so upset at her she wish she could yell,"you should have known better".
But Naima was well aware of her mum's state of mind,and her rationaling issues had always been based on love and care. she was the kind that was good to those that made her feel special,and had sympathy even for those that had betrayed her before. it was always a known fact that Nai had such high self-esteem for a 21 year-old,and that sometimes made her wonder why her mum will rely on others to make her happy.

.....to be continued.

What???

....Naima composed herself for a few seconds,taking her time to turn with which such grace that belied the shock and scattered nature of her thoughts.

"Hi,Yemi" she feigned an innocent smile.
"I thought you said your not feeling well" he went on, the accusation clearly felt in his words.
"yes,I was...
"you were?" Kabir cut in.

"oh no! he didnt just say that" Naughty rolled her eyes.

"Ehmmmmm,yes I was earlier this evening" Nai tried to manuever her way out as both men looked puzzled.

"Oh,I had no idea" Kabir concluded.

She immediately went on to introduce them just to ease the choking tension in the air. at some point,it felt like she was in some cage or drilling room,and not out having dinner.
the two men got engrossed talking about the present situation of issues in Nigeria totally ignoring her,and that gave her time to think.

"what the heck was Yemi doing here?" Naughty started on Sweet,as if she had a clue.
"I cant believe Kabir was so stupid" Sweet answered back.
"yea,what in God's name was that? making me look like a big fat liar" Naughty agreed.
"well, technically it was a lie....and I always warn you but you dont listen" Sweet said in the "I told-you-so" tone.
"what was I to do? go out with him to watch that cheesy theater?? you know,I hate being uncomfortable when watching anything artistic, and with him around,I wouldnt enjoy it" Naughty tried to explain herself,even though she knew Sweet was right.
"yea...just like you thought Kabir was gonna be a bore and bla bla bla...." Sweet's flow was cut by Yemi,as he stood up to leave.

He unfolded his long frame from the wooden chair and signaled that they meet outside.

“Excuse me” Naima muttered to Kabir,totally confused herself. Wondering what it was that Yemi wanted to say,and asking herself if she really wanted to listen to it. She tagged along all the same.

As they got outside,she folded her arms over her bust just to keep her emotions in check and talk as little as she could.just so she wouldn’t give herself away.

“you could have just told me that Kabir is dating you?” Yemi accused in a low voice.

“WHAT???” Naima was taken aback by that.

“yes,he said so in there and all you did was smile and nod”

“like hell,I did” Naughty shouted back.

“I’m sorry about that Yemi. I’ll talk to you later” Naima didn’t even wait for him to answer,she walked out on him furious,and talking to herself. She was obviously upset by Kabir’s declaration.

Kabir had noticed how quiet she was on the ride back to Aunty Mimi’s house. But he had no idea what the problem was, or what he will say to make it right. He thought it had to do with what Yemi said or something,and he decided to stay out of it.

Naima just kept rolling her eyes and hissing. She couldn’t wait to get off this stupid tube,and lock herself in. how dare him? Who did he think he was?? Oh well! It all had to do with the big ego thing she always despised in her hausa-fulani brothers. They just had no idea how a girl’s mind works,and how to make her fall for you. They didn’t even make an effort to understand the dynamics of friendship before jumping into a relationship. They always thought that all a woman needs is a man’s love,and their definition of love to start with was what Naima just couldn’t stand. They were just too rigid and principled. They just didn’t get it.

“God!!!” Naima cursed under her breath.

“what was that?” he inquired.

“trust me,you don’t wanna know”

“of course I do” he insisted. Naima didn’t even look up,she just didn’t even want to look his way.

“ok,you asked for this. How dare you tell Yemi that we are dating??? Are you high or something??? Don’t you think I have a right to decide for myself??? Or did you think I came out here with you as my boyfriend??? What next? You will start saying we are getting married next week???” Naima’s lash out was cut short by his soft,low response.

“I’m so sorry if you feel that way. I just wanted to put him off,and really don’t know what I was thinking. BUT you actually did nod your approval”

“WHAT??? Nod ma approval you say? Are you really serious? God! You have no idea,do you? I didn’t even know when you asked that question because I was deep in thoughts”

“of course. Thinking of the next person to lie to,I guess. Why did you even have to lie to him in the first place…….wait a minute,or are you dating him? Yes,that why your upset,now I get it” Kabir said sheepishly with self-convinction.

“My God!!! You are so impossible. Excuse me” Naima was fuming now,as she stood up and walked towards the tube doors,praying for the next stop just so she should get off, and breath. The tension in there was beginning to choke.

It was only then that she noticed a few eyes following her.

“yea ,whatever” she tossed the words at the guy looking on with a puzzled expression as she alighted from the tube finally and she charging with a really bad temper……..

.....to be continued.

The kiss!!!

....Nai could feel her heart in her mouth. it was pounding. heart beats skipping. her hormones in total control. she inched closer to cover the space between them...she just couldnt bear it any longer. she took in all of him...he pushed her lips to part,and she willingly obliged them...how could she not? those full succelent lips of his....his hands travelled down to her hips,and he started to caress them,motioning in slow regular patterns,and then he speed up...going faster and deepening the kiss,wanting all at once. he moved away only for a split second to catch his breath,and all she could do was melt towards him...her knees were weak and her mind was blurry. he held her tight,and looked down into the two little pool of confusion and pure lust that used to be her eyes....he smiled into them as if trying to reassure her.

 
Nai gave him a weak smirk...and allowed her fingers to dive into his hair....oh! that cripsy hair....she closed the gap once more,and started to suck on his lower lips,then she moved to the upper lip...shifting with such pace that drove him more and more into cloud nine. he took charge and hostled her up on the table right infront of them, and moved down south,using only his tongue and hands.....that jilted her back to earth and she pushed him away....

"what was that about?" Nai yelled at no1 in particular as she jumped off her bed.
she couldnt believe Kabir was now haunting her! how dare him? after the reply her sent her?? her must be nuts or something!
Naima was fuming with rage. she just didnt want to accept that she was mad at him for not trying harder. did he think she was that cheap and easy?
just because she sent him a message saying she wasnt sure she was ready,he had chickened out? well,good riddance then,cos she wasnt going to be one of those desperate girls out to satisfy him. if he wasnt ready to face the heat,then he might as well just move ahead and let her be!

But why was she even bothered? why did she think he should try again??
Nai hissed hard,and moved towards the bathroom to get ready for the hospital,trying as hard to forget Kabir as she turned on the shower and poured some of her face wash into her hands.

***********************************************************************************

Naima took her time to dress up as she knew it was now or never. turned out she was wrong about Kabir giving up afteral or so she thot. but why would he invite her out to dinner if he wasnt still interested? she was sure he was going to apologise in his way for being such a coward.
she almost didnt pick the call when it came through earlier that afternoon. but she was playing Craig David's unbelievable for her mum when the call came,and being that her mum saw who it was,there was no way she could reject the call...moreso,a part of her really wanted to hear what he had to say.
She only agreed to the date only to check him out for herself. she realized that most of the things she knew about him was as a result of stories from others. so,tonight she was on a mission to find out for sure who Kabir was.....the real him...and why exactly he made her want to give up all she believed in and just trust in him to take her there.

she picked the long earrings and held it close to her ears,trying it to see if it fits the short pink cotton gown she chose. it didnt appeal to her,so she tried sweeping up her braids to see if it was better.
she smiled at her image in the mirror..."yea,that will do it" Naima said to herself.
she ramsacked her bag for her butterfly-shaped hair band...she used it to pack the braids in her usual channel O style....

satisfied with the result...Naima proceeded to putting on some make-up. it was one thing she was no expert at. the only make-up she wore everyday was white powder and some lip-gloss. she gave it a try,and then falied.
"well,now you wished you were better at this" Naughty teased her.
"my natural self is even more beautiful,so I aint doing the make-up again" Sweet replied.
"oh really? decieve yourself" Naughty insisted.
"ok, fine! I'll try once more" Sweet replied,knowing she couldnt win this one.

**********************************************************************************
the good thing about wearing make-up once in a while Naima thought to herself,was that it brought out the best in you. bringing to rear a side of you most people had never seen before. that she was certain about since Kabir just kept going on and on about how ravishing she was looking all night.
he took her to the famous african restuarant over at Essex,and Nai couldnt be more pleased as she ate plaintain and fish to her satisfaction. Kabir was shocked when she ordered for tea as a starter. she then said that she was a "tea person" and took it with all her meals.
they chatted for a long time about nothing in particular. but Naima was at ease,and well within her comfort zone talking about science,literature and so many other stuff. Kabir was really impressed at how much Naima knew about law and international relations,which was his field. he had never come across a science student,so current about stuff like Naima he admitted.

"its getting late" Naima interrupted Kabir's protest about them spending more time...she was really having fun but knowing she was going to spend the night alone,since aunty Mimi and the kids were yet to come back from their weekend family treat,she thought it wise to get home early,and chat her her way through the night.
He finally obliged her only if she promised to go on another date with him....this time on a shopping spree for his graduation outfit.
Naima's reply was interrupted by a voice behind her...."I thought you said you werent feeling well" she didnt need to turn,she knew exactly who it was,and from the deep baritone he used,this wasnt going to be a pleasant ending to her rather blissful night......

....... to be continued.

love? really??

Nai tried as hard to answer him with all of her senses under control,but it was close to impossible...then her lips took over.
"I'll stay a little longer here"
She was shocked at the words herself. like she seriously just said that? Kabir's expressionless face didnt help either. he turned to her mum instead, and mumbled a goodbye,and gave her one last long stare as he left the room,and she could tell exactly what he was thinking in that instant,as her legs immediately reponded,feeling like jelly. Naima remained clued to the spot,and her mind was a big chunk of emotions,should she follow him and apologise? should she just let him be?? this was no way to start things off,or was it???

It was almost 10pm when Naima finally bid her mum good night,and virtually dragged herself to the tube station. everywhere was dark and quiet,except for the small bar just on the left turn to the station. that place was always a beehive,especially by that time when most people had closed from work.
She moved a little faster when she got to the bar,just to avoid any stories.
her mind was playing games on her again. she was wishing Kabir was with her right there. she imagined what it felt like being in his arms.....OH!!! those strong looking arms were sure to have made her warm on this breezy summer night.
"and who's fault is that?" Naughty weighed in.
"oh,please! just shut it" Sweet Naima snaped back.
she decided to look around instead and enjoy watching people's lives as they passed her by. she pulled off the cashmere as she walked into the station,and shoved it in her big pink bag,with her hands still in the bag,she fished for her novel,and smiled when she felt it. just as she was about to dive into la-la land,she caught a glimpse of sum couple acting mushy as they waited for the tube too,and she rolled her eyes upwards wondering why she had to see that.

**********************************************************************************

She let herself into the house,and turned on the lights. since aunty Mimi and the kids left for the family re-treat in Birmigham, she made a habit of getting home late,turning on the CP,and facebooked till the wee hours of the morning before finally dozing off. but she was too tired to do any of that this evening. she walked straight into the kitchen to get some tea as usual. she strolled back into the sitting room,and turned on the TV...it was on CNN as usual and the Micheal Jackson memorial was still showing. this was one thing that pissed Nai off with news sometimes,all channels showed virtually the same thing,with each station trying as hard to out-do the other by bringing in irrelevant angles to the story.
she walked over to the CP,still craddling her big brown mug in her left hands. she chatted and browsed for hours,checking her mail,exchanging IMs with her brother over their mum's health,and snooping around people's blogs,she just couldnt bring herself to update her blog these days,as much as she wanted to,but having a few bloggers check on her,and just listen to her complain about things,was more than she could ever ask for.

**********************************************************************************

From the minute she woke up,she had a feeling that this was going to be one hell of a day. she double-checked her cycle calender again,and her heart literally stopped. she was right,it was gonna be crazy!
she took all the necessary precautions; drank a lotta warm water,took her cramp pills,stacked her bag up with disposables,and ate light for breakfast. then she went on to make pap for her mum.
she tried as hard not to be irritated by the noise and bustle of the long road to the hospital, but no success there,as she walked into her mum's room already crumpy and worn out. seeing as she was really not doing good at the hospital,Naima asked if her mum wanted her to go make lunch at home,to which she answered in the affirmative. she rushed out of the room like someone that was being chased by a ghost,and accidentally hit him.
"Hi! sorry" he said all at once.
"hey! I should be saying that"
"oh no! its ok...howz your mum feeling today?" Naima wasnt really suprised that he asked,she was more taken aback by the fact that he cared enough to ask. the manner in which he always walked into the ward without saying a word to anyone but the nurses whenever he came in to see his uncle made it even more suprising. his uncle's room was directly opposite that of her mum's,but since they were french,and he only managed to dabble in english,Naima never thought he even knew she existed.

"hey,you ok?" he went on to say..
"yes,I am,thanks" she lied. the last thing she needed was him being sorry for her. she gathered some courage,and dropped her hands to her sides from her tummy as the elevator arrived just to stress her point.

Naima was in total bliss for just some minutes after rolling all over the place when the SMS came in...
"on my way to the hospital. are you there?" it read. it was Kabir, and she read the message again,as if expecting him to jump out from the phone. she held the phone close,and as she thought of the right words to use....it was kinda funny how she felt about him,since that day at the hospital,there seem to be a new tension between them,it felt like they had so much to say but neither wanted to be the first to give it a go. Naima thought over it again and again,and all the time,she arrived at the same solution,"let him in" but she couldnt possibly be thinking of love! not after how peaches had crushed her heart into bits.
with that thought,she replied his message with words she was sure will scare him away for good..........

........to be continued.